It’s over ten years since I did my first Pay As You Feel sale. I had a bunch of things I’d made that I wanted to have leave my home to make space for new-baby things, and create some much needed cash flow, and I’d also just experienced my first PAYF cafe, where you could eat a couple of courses made from supermarket “waste” and pay either in a cash donation of whatever you could spare, or by washing the dishes/serving for a little while after you’d finished your meal. The concept felt really good - a way of breaking down the boundaries our monetary system has historically forced us to channel the ways we meet basic needs. And art, creativity, has always felt like a basic need to me. We can as soon live without art as we can without food or water. But….money. And oh, money is so hard to talk about, isn’t it. Especially when you don’t have much! And that is the main reason why PAYF is such an important concept.
In the beginning, I’d post an album of photos of my makes on Facebook, and ask people to send me an offer, (which I would always accept, whatever it was) and all would be good. Sometimes I’d be offered much more than I’d have expected, and this would balance out those offers that were a little less. My work would fly out to new homes, I’d have space in my own home for more creativity to flow, and often, enough to pay the mortgage for a month, or do a big food shop.
As I started doing more in person markets, my pay as you feel basket would always contain exciting little gems that needed new homes and helped me feel like I was making my work more accessible, in a rebelling against an elitist art world that says you can only own artwork if you’re rich enough to pay for it, kind of way. Over the years, alongside all the pay as you feel events I’ve done, I’ve also traded patchwork purses for home grown apples, paintings for pc support and embroideries for a plants-and-pennies combination. Balancing the need as a solo mama and main-then-sole provider to pay the bills and feed the children with the desire to send as much creative energy out into the world has felt a bit like walking a tightrope sometimes, but for more than 10 years, it has worked. We’ve mostly cut our coat according to our cloth, and sometimes this creative, home educating, solo parenting gig has felt very much more like a survival mission than anything else, but despite the fire-walking and the hurdles and the, frankly massive mountains we’ve navigated, here we still are, living our best, if slightly financially compromised, lives.
Somehow though, lockdown, and the subsequent cost of living crisis has shifted something when it comes to participating in pay as you feel events. There’s a real sense, for lots of people, of unsureness around making offers, and a fear of making an offer that doesn’t reflect the perceived value of an item or service. I get it. It’s hard, because we live in a world where people are shamed every single day for just existing, so the worry of how an offer of payment may land with a creator or service provider is real and core deep and hard to move past.
But I have been able to take my children to the ballet for £2 on pay as you feel tickets, I’ve taken home fruit and veg from a local community pantry for the coppers in the bottom of my purse, and ordered organic heirloom seeds for my garden for a price I could better afford, so I can tell you that pay what you can really does have the power to change the world, and without doubt, it has been a bridge to better days for my girls and I, in so many ways.
I can also tell you, hand on heart, that if I’ve chosen something to sit in my pay as you feel event, its there because I need the space and the money, however much or little it may be, more than I want to continue to store the item itself.
Paying what you can, whatever that looks like for you, is never going to disrespect me, or devalue the energy I put into making the work. Having someone say, I love this piece, I want to give it a home, or give it to someone I know will love it too, is always going to be a gift, as is the space that having it fly out into the world will create. If you want to, you can think about covering materials costs, or how much time you think it might have taken me, but also, you can just go with whatever your budget for beautiful creative energy for your home is. Cash to feed my kids and pay the mortgage is always going to be welcome, but like the community pantry, there’s no-one policing how much you pay, tutting or shaking their heads in shame at your collection of coins dropped into the bowl - only a mama, dancing barefoot in the kitchen, joyful that someone, somewhere in the world, likes the thing she made enough to give it a place in their home, and relieved that the few pounds here and the few pounds there will get her through another month.
My May Pay As You Feel sale is still on, so if you see something and love it, don’t stress over numbers, or carry guilt for not offering more, or worry that your offer will be public (no one sees it but me) - let the universe guide you, and know I’ll be as grateful and glad as a girl can be.
Love, Kate
P.S. In case this is your first time, in my May Pay As You Feel event on Payhip, you’ll see £0.00 on every item that is in the sale. You pick how much you want to pay, type it in the box, and add it to your basket. That’s it.
If you don’t want to buy anything crafty, but still want to support my creative life, you can become a KOFI supporter, and receive a seasonal gift, or simply subscribe here to my Substack. Find a little space for your email under these lovely pictures!
